Marriage is the most highly honored institution there is in the sight of God. God invented it, and ordained it. God, who also instructs us to live by daily application of His word, tells us how to live successfully in any of life’s capacities. Two out of every three Christian marriages are ending in divorce. This statistic is a sad commentary on Christendom. One of the primary reasons for such failure is that believers join in “holy matrimony”, and have zero knowledge of or submission to the Holy One.
Let’s start with the man. If husbands loved their wives as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25) the number of victorious marriages would be staggering. But how can a man love his wife this way if he doesn’t even know Christ? Does the man “ever” go to church to listen and be taught the word of God? Does he meditate day and night (Ps. 1:2, Joshua 1:8) on the word to experience any form of success? Last but not least, does he apply the principles of the canon of scripture to his conflicts or differences between himself and his spouse?
In order to love as Christ loved the church, the man must first recognize his position, responsibility and authority. The man is the head of the union. He is also responsible and has to give the account for this union. Due to this position, God also gave man the authority to pray and change whatever conditions he’s experiencing in his marriage that are contrary to love, peace and harmony, and make things right.
Here’s the comparison– Christ and the church, husband and wife. Does Jesus fight with us? Does Jesus try to win arguments with us? Does Jesus condemn us? Does Jesus compete with us? Does Jesus put us down and refuse to talk to us? Does He turn His back on us and walk out? Does He lie to us? Jesus is faithful to His word. Jesus loves us unconditionally. Jesus is the head of the body and cares for us, which is our example of how a man should love and care for his wife. When she argues and complains, Jesus listens to us and helps us in ways most suitable for our progress. Jesus knows who He is, therefore He doesn’t have to compete, argue, fuss or fight us. In the same manner, the husband has to have this understanding. Even when things don’t go the way the husband thinks they should, man has to be strong and dependent enough on God’s grace to sustain him and help him through it.
The wife is the weaker vessel, not mentally or spiritually, but simply in authority. She was created to be a helpmate. Much of her frustration comes from being with a man who won’t lead and has no vision or goals. She only wants to help, not take over. He’s the plug, she’s the socket. If he plugs in, the whole world comes on (lights, oven, stereo, television, intimacy, sex, meals, etc), happy wife, happy life. The woman has no problem submitting to domestic causes when she can trust that he is faithful to his word. Note: submission has nothing to do with oppression or male dominance either.
Both parties must make it their ambition and goal to press after Christ. Jesus is at the apex of the wedge, while the husband and wife are both at opposite sides of the bottom (like a pyramid). As they press and spend their days in pursuit of Christ– seeking Him, worshipping Him, obeying Him, serving Him, they will both find themselves closer to each other, for the gap between the two shortens. If the husband’s goal is money while hers is Christ, it won’t work. If her pursuit is companionship and security, while his goal is sex, it won’t work. Jesus has to be the center focal point in every Christian marriage in order to experience the full benefits of holy matrimony.
In conclusion: The ultimate faith is trusting God with your “Life”. In trusting God with your life, you’re utilizing daily application of His word for every emotion, scenario, disagreement, facet or aspect of marital living. It’s a wonderful life when we do it His way.
Pastor Anthony E. Blackman